Yesterday, after 18 years+ of chewing God's gift to your cheek and gum, I have quit my first true love... Now I know what you are saying, he's quit numerous times before and always goes back to it... Well, you're right and I have no idea why this time will be different than others but I have got to try... "If I have to tear this universe another black hole, I must try... IIIIII've got to mister..." Anyways, if you do not have a nicotine addiction or have not tried to quit, let me tell you it's no picnic. Unless the picnic includes shaky hands, anger, delusions, anger, no nicotine and anger! For me I become very sensitive to the touch, and by sensitive I mean horny! I also have severe mood swings and my sarcasm level goes to Defcon 2. Basically I am a complete ass looking for some ass! And how many girls do you know that put out after you tell them how perfect they would be to "suck the nicotine demon" right out of you!
And the best part about the whole thing is that in our infinite wisdom my fiance' and I (yes, I'm sorry lady, I am engaged to be married) my fiance' and I (no I'm not rubbing it in) well her and I quit at the same time. No, she does not chew tobacco, although I made her do it one time and she puked all over her pants and my truck. OK, it's not like I made her do it, you know in case she reads this, she chose to do it and I inserted it, the tobacco, into her mouth! Anyway, she is a smoker and we have quit together 2 other times and it has not been that bad however she is not on the patch, meaning she gets no nicotine and I just feel extra saucy this time.
So, we quit together and I am so angry at cancer right now. I mean I can handle the gingivitis, missing teeth, gum disease, bleeding, bad breath and spitting everywhere for the rest of my life but why does it have to kill me. Why can't it just take a few teeth or require me to swish with mouthwash on a regular basis? I HATE CANCER!!!
So as day two comes to an end the nicotine in my body has just about left my system but the idea that I should be chewing tobacco when I take a shower, sit on the throne, drive, after I eat, before I eat, as I cook dinner, before bed, after coffee and while I am typing this EFFING blog will never, ever end. I have promised myself that when I turn 60 I will start chewing again... That's 28 years away... Maybe I should go buy some just in case they stop making it some day... Great idea!
Babe Ruth smoked cigars and chewed tobacco, and died of throat cancer at age 53.
| He had been chewing tobacco since the age of seven. |
| NEJM, May 12, 1988, p. 1281, and Baseball, Ken Burns, 1994 (PBS film) |
During one game of the 1986 World Series, there were a total of 24 minutes on
| camera of televised images of players and coaches chewing and dipping smokeless |
| tobacco. |
| NEJM, April 9, 1987, p. 952 |
No comments:
Post a Comment