I Don't Feel Older!

Well that is the first of many more lies you might read about if you continue to read my blogs... But I have figured out that if you lie about something and you really want someone to believe it then just tell them you heard it on the news or read it in the newspaper. Because the newspaper never makes mistakes and if they do they print it on Page G-11 column 2 in a little blurb.

"We originally reported that the police officer shot the passenger in the vehicle she had pulled over without being provoked. After further analysis it turns out that the passenger, a known narcotics dealer and wife beater had pulled a knife on the officer."

Thanks a lot. So while people are holding candlelight vigils for this criminal and potential cop murderer the newspaper has just recruited thousands of other bleeding hearts because of their "misprint".

You may ask what this has to do with the title... "Nothing!"

I am getting ready to celebrate my, well you'll have to click here and figure it out, birthday. And as I get older I am realizing that the last significant birthday I had was when I turned 21... The rest is just down hill from there.

When I wrote the title, I lied to you. I do feel older. In fact I now feel it necessary to get a physical on a yearly basis, have my blood work and blood pressure checked and of course the annual dreaded balloon knot violation. My back hurts for no reason, I consistently get a stiff neck and I'm starting to watch what I eat!

Remember the days, drinking until 5 in the morning, stumbling to class on 3 hours of sleep and a Mountain Dew. Or prior to that, sneaking out of your parents house with a soda bottle filled with every liquor in their cabinet. And then skipping off to class and football practice only to have more energy to do the same thing again...

Those days are gone!!!

Now it's 2 Advil in the morning, but watch out for the ulcers; a pot of coffee but don't get addicted; McDonald's super size Big Mac but watch out for trans fats and cholesterol and calories; a 2 hour commute but watch out for global warming; rent, mortgage, credit card bills, anger, tooth decay, arthritis, angina, deadlines, impatience, insurance, etc.

Ahhh to be 15 again. No driver's license to worry about, no cell phone or bills or health issues. You could sleep for 2 drunken hours and wake up to slimy eggs and scrapple. Give me a skateboard (although I was never good at skating, it was simply for transportation), a few friends and my parents liquor cabinet and I could take over the world...

But alas there is no way to stop time. God put us into motion and we survive. But I'm lucky in a way. You see I lied again. In truth my birthday has more significance to me than it ever did in the past. On March 27, 2004 my grandmother passed away from a bout with lung cancer. She was my last living grandparent and so ended an era of my life that gave me cherished memories to last me beyond the grave.

But with death there is rebirth. A new era was born. I met my wife that exact day, March 27, 2004, less than 12 hours after my grandmother passed away and exactly 29 years after my birth.

So here's to a new era. One of ulcers and enlarged prostates and unbearable hangovers and slipped disks and anything else life can throw at me!

You can only perceive real beauty in a person as they get older. -Anouk Aimee

To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable. -Oscar Wilde

It is always the best policy to speak the truth--unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar. -Jerome K. Jerome