My addiction update

Ok, so there have been some minor setbacks in my attempt to quit smokeless tobacco. First off it was totally unfair that less than one week after I quit we got snow. And the rule with plowing is that you must have some sort of vice if you are going to drive back and forth for 10 hours plus. So, I bought a can of chew. The first chew that I had of course was phenomenal, I think it ranked up there with orgasm and catching a winning touchdown pass... Ofcourse falling in love ranks way above any of those! I felt awfully guilty especially because my fiance' was sitting at home not smoking and there I was enjoying my favorite vice.

I made myself feel better when I bought the can by buying tootsie pops in hopes that it would curb my voracious appetite for smokeless tobacco. It was a lame idea at best although until then I had forgot how much I enjoyed tootsie pops. Anyways, it wasn't 15 minutes after I had bought the can that I sucked down 20 ounces of scalding hot coffee to rejoin with my former life partner. As I explained before my first chew was fantastic but my second chew was terrible. I had it tucked safely and succulently between my cheek and gum for no more than 5 minutes when I reluctantly spit it out. My stomach was hurting and I felt that my heart was going to beat out of my chest. I think I even had the cold sweats but that could have been because all of the drugs that I was on... Just Kidding! Finally depression had set in because I thought that I may never enjoy another chew. Ofcourse that is the point of quitting I assume but this did not enter my thoughts.

As the night closed I decided to have one more chew. Three chews in seven hours is not bad, and thankfully the third mouth full of joy was similar to the first... it was just as I had remembered it before... marvelous! It may have lasted for a euphoric 5 minutes or 45 minutes but all I knew was that I would have to enjoy every second. When I finally spit it out half way to my house at 2:30 am, I dumped out the remaining goodness in a can with a tear in my eye.

Since then I have been nicotine free, until last night. I went to a place called Growler's where I met my family for a birthday dinner. The food was unbelievable and the beer was fantastic. After dinner I went upstairs with my family for some drinks and live music. I'm not much of a go out type of guy anymore because of the "typical bar scene" but Growler's was totally different, a place I will probably make "MY BAR"! I spent the whole night in conversation, not thinking about nicotine even though alcohol always increases my addictive awareness. As we walked out I lit up a cigarette, smoked half of it and then threw it away, completely regretting the whole situation.

Did I mention that I hate cancer? Well I really hate cancer!

I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it. -Mae West (1892-1980)

It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues. -Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)