Your panties are bunched!

For crying out loud, some of us don't have a chair-to-ass job... For those few of you who were patiently awaiting the return of this blog I take my sweaty hat off to you. And for those others who have been waiting to throw their proverbial panties at the stage thank you too! Even practically perfect people need a kick in the ass from time to time.
OK, that's it, I'll see you after Christmas... whoops I mean Holiday! (Can anyone tell me what I'm about to bitch... about?)
It's Christmas time... Well, it has been since my neighbor's put their Christmas lights up 3 years ago. As many of you already know Hallmark and Toy's R Us, along with a myriad of other stores have been slowly pushing Christmas time from the end of December to somewhere right around Thanksgiving. For those shoppers who like to get an early second mortgage Christmas shopping begins on Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving... It's a brilliant marketing ploy and if it weren't for my utter disdain towards big corporations and their destroying America (wait a minute, I've been reading too much drivel from the online socialists)! That was a jab at Karl Marx and the growing popularity in America of "the government should take care of me" ideal!
Anyways, Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ, Christianity's Son of God. As with many of the things in Christianity and most other religions Christmas is a symbol. I'm not here to argue if Jesus was actually born on December 25th or if the Pagan religion is the original author of the celebration. It's a tradition in the United States dating back to John Smith and the Jamestown settlement practiced in our predominately Christian nation, and while a burgeoning society needs to change to grow and flourish, some things should remain as tradition!
So without further adieu let's talk about Christmas... Are people really offended by a man born over 2000 years ago who preaches such out-dated ideas like "Love thy neighbor" or "Don't murder" or "Honor your parents"? When you walk down the street and see a Christmas tree or a little baby in a manger surrounded by family and friends does that spark a deep-seeded hatred in your being? Does a fat man with a white beard and a red coat who magically delivers toys to children make you relive bad memories of a drunken Uncle Joe during the holidays? For Christ's sake (yes that is intended) we have a growing violent crime rate, our soldiers are fighting a war over seas and there is a good chance that a few families in your town won't have enough food to eat this holiday! Does the removal of a Christmas tree in a Seattle airport serve any greater good? I realize that the true meaning of Christmas lies in the birth of Christ. I realize that decorations and Santa Clause don't reflect the true meaning of Christmas but I hardly think they are a tool of the evil missionaries trying to spread God's word throughout the world. I would be all for getting rid of Christmas icons if someone could prove to me that they have in any way infringed on the rights of any human.
Christmas time has been traditionally a time of giving, dating back to ancient Babylon. We give gifts to our family members and friends, we spoil our children and spend time with family. Many people even take time out of their busy lives to help those less fortunate. I'm not talking about those lobbying Congress for government handouts, I'm talking about people donating warm clothes to the Salvation Army, donating canned goods to those who need it and even taking time from their families to personally help at soup kitchens, toy drives and the like. And many of these people and groups who unselfishly help others are members of a religious group who celebrates Christmas. (I'm certainly not insinuating that Christians are the only religious group that helps others at Christmas time and throughout the year and it is unfortunate that I even have to include this disclaimer). Banning Christmas icons and making it just another federal holiday could have adverse effects on the generous folks who donate so much during the holidays.
The earliest celebration on December 25th is credited to the Pagans who celebrated by "raucous partying, gluttonous eating and drinking, and gift-giving", and continued by three shepherds bringing gifts to an unknown child known as Jesus Christ and now by millions like myself who drink and eat a lot and give gifts. And as a person not easily offended I take great offense to anyone who thinks that Christmas trees, baby Jesus and the words "I'm dreaming of a White Christmas" are infringing on their rights.
I understand that their are other religions freely practicing in this country, exactly as the founding fathers wanted. I understand that during the Christmas holiday many stores and houses and public areas have decorated Christmas trees, Nativity scenes, garland, poinsettia, Santa Clauses ringing bells... It's hard not to go anywhere without being reminded of Christmas. Instead of spending all of your time being angry during the holidays why not turn that frown upside-down. Use it to call that friend from high school you haven't spoken with in 15 years or patch a wound between you and your father, everyone is a little more sensitive and forgiving during Christmas. We are not trying to force you into Christianity, that ended with the efficacy of the sword but rather are asking you to think of Christmas as a positive for millions of people, including you! I mean no one is making you worship the Son of God, that would be un-American. However why not take advantage of all the sales, the chance to give to someone who needs more than you and of course the time off work.
Think about this. If you could write a list of ten things you would wish for this Christmas would one of them be the end of Christmas? If so then I guess you'd be in a catch-22... For your sake and the rest of ours, I hope the banishing of Christmas doesn't consume you... It's Christmas, have a drink, call a friend and be thankful that you're alive!


In the old days, it was not called the holiday season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church; the Jews called it 'Hannukka' and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hannukka!' or (to the atheists) 'Look out for the wall! -Dave Barry

There is nothing wrong with America that cannot be cured by what is right with America. -Bill Clinton