My Brush With Death

Hello folks... You may have read about my opinions on gun control. Most likely you haven't but it makes me feel better to think that my blog is actually being read. Anyways I recently had a brush with death and I thought I would write about it.
Last Thursday, not a week into Obama's coronation I had a brush with death. I was surprised that something like this could happen under Obama's watch but then again, only 4 days prior to my near death experience George HW Bush was still at the White House.
Anyways, as I said before it was a Thursday and my folks were picking me up to go to an exclusive restaurant for dinner. And by exclusive I mean it's a country club and no one is permitted entrance without the proper credentials, business-like attire and of course a white person.
We were meeting my wife at this posh establishment at 6pm and my folks were picking me up at 5:45. Needless to say my father was running late, something I could and should have predicted.
So I was sitting on my couch in the living room reading the newspaper and staring at my wife's cat. And I am referring to her feline, I call it hers because I do not take ownership of it (although I do clean the litter box but why do you care).
Back to the story, I was thinking of ways to get rid of the cat when I heard a loud crash in the basement. Because I was glaring at the cat I could not blame this on her. It occurred to me that my folks could have walked in the basement but I was almost positive that I had locked the door. I walked calmly to the basement door and slowly opened it. I heard no more movement and yelled down, "Hello... Hello... Hello..." This is to represent an echo, makes the story a little more eerie.
There was no answer. At this time I heard another crash, not as loud but sinister nonetheless so I sprang into action.
"Dad, if that is you I am getting my shotgun." No answer! "Dad, I'm serious, I'm coming down guns a blazing!" Still no answer!
I shut the basement door and ran to where I keep my shotgun, locking the door behind me (I am leaving the exact location of the shotgun out for security purposes). You may ask why I locked the door behind me and that is a simple tactical move. Putting as many barriers as possible between me and the perpetrator gives me extra time to load my gun. And I have never loaded a shotgun before so I thought it might take me a while.
Now I tried to load the shotgun as quickly and silently as possible so I could hear if someone was coming up from the basement. Once the gun was loaded, with only one shell for some reason, I slowly opened the door. Thinking back I think fully loading the shotgun would have been a wise decision.
I opened the door to the room, hiding to the side with the gun pointed out. No one was there so I went to the basement door. It was still closed and I quickly swung it open without looking down. I heard no sound and peeked around the corner. "Oh My God!" Just kidding. I guess it would be more startling in the movies rather than on paper.
I crept down the steps, and by crept I mean creaked, the stairs are about 50 years old. I grabbed the swiffer with my free hand (because I am buff enough to hold a shotgun with one hand) and stuck it around the corner at the bottom of my steps. The trap worked, someone grabbed the swiffer and yanked it... (Just kidding, again this makes the story a little more interesting). Using the swiffer was part of my tactics. Had there been an intruder around the corner he might have instinctively grabbed the swiffer. This would have left him vulnerable and me in complete control rather than putting the shotgun around the corner and having a struggle for that. Besides, even when defending your property I think shooting blindly around a corner is just plain stupid! Fortunately no one grabbed the swiffer and I crept around the door.
My basement is a converted garage with two rooms. In the first room is a pool table and the other room storage, separated by a beautifully constructed wall (I built the wall). I walked around the back of the pool table, the shotgun pointed at the only entrance to the storage room. I had not heard another noise since I peered down the basement steps but I was taking no chances. I worked my way to the storage room and did the swiffer around the corner thing again with the same ends. Once the light was flipped on I checked the crevices and found no one. I still have no real evidence as to what crashed in the basement... Maybe it was a ghost.
Anyways, satisfied that no one was in my house I went back upstairs, unloaded my shotgun and searched the house one more time with "The Peacemaker" in hand. "The Peacemaker" is a police issued billy club that the previous owner forgot to take with him. I call it "The Peacemaker" because someone wrote "The Peacemaker" on the side.
So that was my brush with death... pretty boring. I guess what happened was the best possible scenario, the worst being either an intruder was in the house and the shotgun jams, resulting in my death or a friend was playing a joke and I shoot him. On the other hand, had I not had the gun things could have gone really bad. The intruder could have killed me, waited for my parents to come and then killed them and then waited for my wife to come home. Thankfully the government has not YET gone far enough to take a mans's personal property.
Please give me one good reason why I should not be able to have a gun in my house to defend my family and my property!

Guns don't kill, people do!

That rifle on the wall of the laborer's cottage or working class flat is the symbol of democracy. It is our job to see that it stays there! -George Orwell

No free man shall ever be de-barred the use of arms. -Thomas Jefferson

"It's better to have a gun and not need it than to need a gun and not have it." -Unknown


Among the many misdeeds of the British rule in India, history will look upon the Act depriving a whole nation of arms as the blackest. -Mahtma Gandhi