My Brush With Death

Hello folks... You may have read about my opinions on gun control. Most likely you haven't but it makes me feel better to think that my blog is actually being read. Anyways I recently had a brush with death and I thought I would write about it.
Last Thursday, not a week into Obama's coronation I had a brush with death. I was surprised that something like this could happen under Obama's watch but then again, only 4 days prior to my near death experience George HW Bush was still at the White House.
Anyways, as I said before it was a Thursday and my folks were picking me up to go to an exclusive restaurant for dinner. And by exclusive I mean it's a country club and no one is permitted entrance without the proper credentials, business-like attire and of course a white person.
We were meeting my wife at this posh establishment at 6pm and my folks were picking me up at 5:45. Needless to say my father was running late, something I could and should have predicted.
So I was sitting on my couch in the living room reading the newspaper and staring at my wife's cat. And I am referring to her feline, I call it hers because I do not take ownership of it (although I do clean the litter box but why do you care).
Back to the story, I was thinking of ways to get rid of the cat when I heard a loud crash in the basement. Because I was glaring at the cat I could not blame this on her. It occurred to me that my folks could have walked in the basement but I was almost positive that I had locked the door. I walked calmly to the basement door and slowly opened it. I heard no more movement and yelled down, "Hello... Hello... Hello..." This is to represent an echo, makes the story a little more eerie.
There was no answer. At this time I heard another crash, not as loud but sinister nonetheless so I sprang into action.
"Dad, if that is you I am getting my shotgun." No answer! "Dad, I'm serious, I'm coming down guns a blazing!" Still no answer!
I shut the basement door and ran to where I keep my shotgun, locking the door behind me (I am leaving the exact location of the shotgun out for security purposes). You may ask why I locked the door behind me and that is a simple tactical move. Putting as many barriers as possible between me and the perpetrator gives me extra time to load my gun. And I have never loaded a shotgun before so I thought it might take me a while.
Now I tried to load the shotgun as quickly and silently as possible so I could hear if someone was coming up from the basement. Once the gun was loaded, with only one shell for some reason, I slowly opened the door. Thinking back I think fully loading the shotgun would have been a wise decision.
I opened the door to the room, hiding to the side with the gun pointed out. No one was there so I went to the basement door. It was still closed and I quickly swung it open without looking down. I heard no sound and peeked around the corner. "Oh My God!" Just kidding. I guess it would be more startling in the movies rather than on paper.
I crept down the steps, and by crept I mean creaked, the stairs are about 50 years old. I grabbed the swiffer with my free hand (because I am buff enough to hold a shotgun with one hand) and stuck it around the corner at the bottom of my steps. The trap worked, someone grabbed the swiffer and yanked it... (Just kidding, again this makes the story a little more interesting). Using the swiffer was part of my tactics. Had there been an intruder around the corner he might have instinctively grabbed the swiffer. This would have left him vulnerable and me in complete control rather than putting the shotgun around the corner and having a struggle for that. Besides, even when defending your property I think shooting blindly around a corner is just plain stupid! Fortunately no one grabbed the swiffer and I crept around the door.
My basement is a converted garage with two rooms. In the first room is a pool table and the other room storage, separated by a beautifully constructed wall (I built the wall). I walked around the back of the pool table, the shotgun pointed at the only entrance to the storage room. I had not heard another noise since I peered down the basement steps but I was taking no chances. I worked my way to the storage room and did the swiffer around the corner thing again with the same ends. Once the light was flipped on I checked the crevices and found no one. I still have no real evidence as to what crashed in the basement... Maybe it was a ghost.
Anyways, satisfied that no one was in my house I went back upstairs, unloaded my shotgun and searched the house one more time with "The Peacemaker" in hand. "The Peacemaker" is a police issued billy club that the previous owner forgot to take with him. I call it "The Peacemaker" because someone wrote "The Peacemaker" on the side.
So that was my brush with death... pretty boring. I guess what happened was the best possible scenario, the worst being either an intruder was in the house and the shotgun jams, resulting in my death or a friend was playing a joke and I shoot him. On the other hand, had I not had the gun things could have gone really bad. The intruder could have killed me, waited for my parents to come and then killed them and then waited for my wife to come home. Thankfully the government has not YET gone far enough to take a mans's personal property.
Please give me one good reason why I should not be able to have a gun in my house to defend my family and my property!

Guns don't kill, people do!

That rifle on the wall of the laborer's cottage or working class flat is the symbol of democracy. It is our job to see that it stays there! -George Orwell

No free man shall ever be de-barred the use of arms. -Thomas Jefferson

"It's better to have a gun and not need it than to need a gun and not have it." -Unknown


Among the many misdeeds of the British rule in India, history will look upon the Act depriving a whole nation of arms as the blackest. -Mahtma Gandhi

You have got to be kidding me

After you read this article you might not need to read what I have to say but feel free to do so. Here is my favorite quote from the article:
"This new report confirms that weak government tobacco policies fail to support smokers' efforts to quit, and fail to discourage teens from smoking."
May I comment on it. Thank you... Let's break it down. "Weak government tobacco policies". What does that mean? I will tell you what it means. This guy wants the government to control private tobacco industries. He wants the government to tax tobacco so heavily that most people can't afford it. He wants Big Brother (1984 by George Orwell... Read it!). Always watching, holding your hand as you cross the road, shaking his finger when you are about to do something naughty. So what happens when someone can't afford a drug they are addicted to? They steal from others to support their habit... Well cigarettes are different you say, who would steal for cigarettes you ask? When you are addicted to something it takes over your brain. You will do whatever it takes to satisfy that addiction. People steal, hurt and kill every day to satisfy their addictions. And if you don't think that tobacco is as addictive as illegal drugs then Check this out. Although in this test cigarettes are not the most addictive they rank right up there with alcohol and heroin and cocaine. (On a side note, look at the high ratings for alcohol... A very, very dangerous but legal drug... Why not read up on Prohibition and see what happens when a free society is denied their right to alcohol).
Do you know how many people are employed by the tobacco industry? How many convenience stores make their money from people coming in to buy cigarettes and they pick up something extra? What would happen to the tobacco industry and the tens of thousands of people employed by them? What about the small tobacco farmer? We might have an economy worse than it was under Jimmy Carter!
The report says that "Tobacco use is the number one preventable cause of death in America." And how is this prevented? Well, it's prevented by people not smoking. How do you prevent people from smoking? Well, we can't ban cigarettes, refer again to Prohibition! We can't force people not to smoke although the government is doing their best. We can however teach kids at an early age about the dangers of tobacco but that sure didn't keep me from using tobacco. How about some incentives!
For one, those people who use tobacco must expect to pay higher premiums for their health insurance. It just makes sense. They are taking an unnecessary risk and no company should be forced to insure them without the proper premium. (Another side note, if we decide to socialize medicine, those folks who smoke will be getting the most out of the system. Think about that!)
We could also say that those folks who don't smoke, when they die they will get 72 virgins. That seems to be an incentive for suicide bombers.
I can't come up with other incentives, sorry.
Anyways, I'm not against helping people quit tobacco. I have, more than once wished that they would just ban tobacco but I know that would not do any good. I'm just against too much government interference. I mean the government (not just Bush but all of the idiots in Congress) has given us a trillion dollar deficit, high unemployment, a war that might never end, failed school systems, an unregulated border, more laws, more taxes, more red tape, unwarranted income taxes, a federal reserve system that rips us off and of course Ted Kennedy. Unfortunately we the people keep voting the same idiots to office. Why in hell would anyone trust them with more responsibilities?
Look, people need a vice. When things are getting them down they need something to let them escape for awhile. For some people it's sex. It could be food or swimming or screaming or blasting Metallica. For others it might be marijuana or alcohol or simply a ride on their motorcycle. And for many it's a cigarette. I for one don't want a million angry smokers running around without a cigarette. Live and let live, or as New Hampshire says, "Live Free or Die!"

P.S. Obama is a smoker! If we banned cigarettes he would probably nuke half the globe!

I love our Congressmen

I don't usually read the op-eds in The Washington Post because they are fraught with left wing loonies denouncing capitalism like it's a failed principle and neo-conservative imperialists telling me why Democrats are destroying the country right under my nose. Believe me I think the direction our congressmen are taking us is south, or backwards but there are enough "scientific" studies and facts to prove either side of a political argument. It's not about right and wrong anymore, it's about "Did you hear what Larry Craig a Republican did?", or "How about that loathsome Eliot Spitzer, the Democrat?" I don't give two shits about gay sex in an airport bathroom or cavorting with a high-end prostitute. Unless of course they are using our tax dollars to pay for these sins. I'm getting off topic even though I have not touched on my topic yet. All I'm trying to say is that we should not be surprised to hear about "allegations" that Nancy Pelosi, A DEMOCRAT uses tax payer dollars to get a bikini wax (shudder) or that Saxby Chambliss, A REPUBLICAN uses tax payer dollars to buy bullets for his endangered species hunting trips. Is that how we are defined in this country? No longer are we individuals but we are categorized by party alignment! What a joke!
Anyways, we have a new President being inaugurated in a few days with promises of hope and change and I for one am optimistic.
"What", my Mom asks, being the only one to read my blog, "I thought you were not a fan of Obama."
Well let's just say that I'm not a big fan of ANY of our elected officials but he is our President and unlike the Bush-haters of the past eight years I'm not denouncing him and all of his "failed policies" before he takes the oath of office. Not to say that Bush did not have many failed policies, or policies I do not agree with but I don't believe most people even consider the facts, they hear Bush and they hate it already! Dumbasses!
Anyways, I have been muted on the blog front for a long time, mostly because so much has pissed me off I don't know where to start so I will give you a snippet of what's been rolling around in my gray matter.
First off, this bailout is a joke. Representatives Barney Frank and Chris Dodd are the world's biggest jackasses. I heard Dodd say that the reason why the bailouts aren't working is because of the Bush Administration. He claims that the administration pulled the wool over his eyes and before he knew it the bailout was passed without oversight and without requiring banks to lend the money given. As CHAIRMAN and 26-year member of the Committee on BANKING, Housing and Urban Affairs you would think a Senator with his experience could make an educated decision and stand by it. But when in doubt blame the Bush Administration. You can read more on him here.
Let's see... California is debating on whether or not to ban smoking outside. You know, I'm a big fan of the term "Live Free or Die", which happens to be the state motto of New Hampshire and it sums up my political beliefs. What in God's name, with all of the smog in Los Angeles and the earth-destroying CO2 emmissions and the dairy cow farts will banning smoking outside do for anyone. If you are worried about walking through a cloud of cigarette smoke on the street corner then you should live in an effing (wait, this deserves real outrage) fucking bubble.
What happened to our Live Free or Die attitudes? If you don't like smoke, don't go into the restaurant. If you are about to claim bankruptcy then hurry up and move along so someone else, who might just do a better job can step in your place. If your life sucks then do something about it. You and only you can control your destiny... I've got more!
"It's raining at the bus stop, there is no cover..." Well go buy an umbrella! "I can't afford gas to get to work..." Well then take the bus and/or the metro, millions of people do every day! "People are smoking at the bar..." Well take your kids somewhere else, they shouldn't be at a bar anyway!
I guess the last thing I have to bitch about for now is criminals. Now there are a lot of non-violent people in jail for things like drug offences. However, some violent criminals are getting out of jail for good behavior and then promptly murdering or raping or trying to drug and rape little children, like this waste of oxygen. We spend billions incarcerating non-violent drug offenders, prostitutes and johns etc. while murderers bounce in and out of the system. Is this a problem... Would you feel more safe sitting with a convicted murderer or a pot head?
And finally, out of place in the blog but pertinent nonetheless. People struggle each and every second of the day and most people keep on truckin'. Why should you or Ford or Bank of America be any different!

Finally, in the words of Mike Muir, singer-songwriter for the greatest funk/metal band of all time, from the song "Gotta Kill Captain Stupid"
"Oh, what's that?
So now you say life sucks
Well, ninety-nine percent of it's
What you make of it...
So if your life sucks, you suck"

What are you going to do about it?